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There is a term used by runners called “junk miles”, a low impact workout to meet mileage and training goals without breaking a sweat. It’s the downhill run you bang out on a Sunday evening where your only objective is to finish in time for Desperate House Wives.
Tuesday night, at the Spring Street Studio I was doing junk miles. I got to the studio at 7pm, rush hour, and was surprised to score a space on the side platform with an easel, stool and an unobstructed view. The model was the same fellow from the previous week, a dancer who assumes ambition poses which defy gravity and confuse my normal understanding of anatomy. He completed a series of five minute posed which left me confounded.
My heart wasn’t into the session. I was distracted by the gurgling of my stomach, the wood splinters I felt snagging my stockings each time my stool wobbled and I spent more time looking at my neighbor’s drawing (which was rather good) than my own work. 30 minutes down, 5 minute break, and repeat, repeat, repeat. I stayed through the last pose, going through the motions of sketching but I never broke a sweat.
If I want to get better at drawing or the ukulele I need to listen to the advice of the people in my classes and my teacher who tell me it’s all about practice. Good day, bad day, and either way I need to put in the time.
One of my favorite quotes, I'm not sure who said it, is that "everything you want is just outside your comfort zone". It's true. Frequently I try to talk myself back into the safe boundaries I established years ago because I am scared of disappointment, tired or intimidated by the challenge of reaching out for my dreams. Then I see something, perhaps it’s a portion of my drawing which I like or have an exciting conversation with a new friend which reassures that yes, it is worth reaching out.
Album: Jug Band Music, song Blues My Naughty Sweetie Gives To Me by Jim Kweskin and the Jug Band.
